Funny Little Idea
by RhysThornbery
Summary: Just a short scene with a funny little story intro idea I had floating around in that weird brain of mine. Harry sure is a headache for those running the afterlife...


**Author's Note:** We've all seen a dozen stories out there where Harry arrives in the afterlife and the Grim Reaper etc. are not happy to see him, yes? Well this is just a funny little notion I had for the opening scene of such a story. This is a one-shot nothing more, nothing less. I don't see this being expanded into anything greater in the future. Regardless I hope it at least gives you a laugh. OH! and a small update. I am in the midst of 'affliction' such as it is on writing the next chapter of Into the Black. However I admit I am struggling somewhat. I COULD update with what I have now, but the chapter would be...short. Thoughts?

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 **The Afterlife,**

 **Tomb World 03-OKL-Earth**

 **Necropolis 15A-I**

The simultaneously peaceful and foreboding hush of the Necropolis was seldom disturbed in these times. Indeed most souls could not seem to work up the necessary enthusiasm to get bent out of shape enough to cause a ruckus. It was part of the nature of the dead to be somewhat less…prideful, than they had been in their mortal existence. You were dead, nothing much mattered anymore until you got your call to appear before the judgement seat and were finally passed on to your eternal destiny.

Why get worked up when nothing you do will change matters after all?

A Tombworld such as this one served as the afterlife's waiting room and reception office all rolled into one. And tended to the souls of the fallen in an ongoing basis. The entire world was covered in one large labyrinthian construct called a Necropolis. Vast and towering ziggurats, and pyramids of a black metallic substance dominated the entire landscape, lit one and all by the unearthly blue glow of lichfire which resided in every crevasse, seam and niche of the architecture. Not to mention the faint blue white glow of wandering souls as they drifted about searching for loved ones while they waited.

It didn't hurt of course that souls seldom got uppity when they were constantly under the watchful gaze of the tombguard. Tombguard, the eternal constructs manufactured by the almighty and his servants to oversee and protect the Tombworld's inhabitants. Most of the time this constituted breaking up rare squabbles between souls and guiding them when their call came. On rare occasions though the Tombguard were required to protect this particular dimension from the predations of others.

Most often this came in the subtle beguiling influence of the fallen ones who's voices sought to drag souls into despair feeding off their misery. However once in a while they'd get something a little more…strange coming in search of food in the form of the energy souls were made of. Oh these _things_ could not truly destroy a soul, but they could most certainly make their passage through into the afterlife more difficult. Something which made the almighty… _unhappy_.

Thus when on this day, the reverent silence of the Tombworld was shattered by the chaotic and literally meteoric arrival of something crashing down into the afterlife, the constructs known as the Tombguard armed with ethereal weapons moved to contain whatever force had decided to so blithely violate this corner of creation in such a spectacular fashion until one of the Angels could be dispatched to send it back where it came from.

As unofficial and illegal entrance to a Tombworld required a great deal of power on it's own, even when it was not in so flashy and disruptive a manner. The Tombguard understandably assumed that their…visitor would be a somewhat troublesome sort and called for the oversight of a Praetor.

Thus it was that Praetor Inekhat was roused from his stasis sarcophagus at an ungodly early hour of the morning to lead them into what it was assumed would be quite a battle.

Inekhat was a calm and retiring sort, and couldn't help but hope it wasn't anything too serious, though he was less than hopeful considering the light show. The last time someone had caused a similar level of chaos when entering this particular Tombworld it had been that utter bastard Cthulhu looking for a tasty midnight snack. Who knew one of the Old Ones could get the munchies?

He translocated to a platform near the impact site and marched purposefully towards an area where the other Tombguard were gathering around an oddly small crater. Considering the size of the disturbance he'd been expecting rather more than this.

 **REPORT** He instructed as he neared a particularly confused Tombguard.

 **PRAETOR!** The Tombguard growled in it's hollow echoing voice as it registered his presence. **WE MOVED TO SECURE THE INCURSION SITE AS FAST AS WE COULD BUT—I ADMIT WE ARE A BIT CONFUSED. WE HAD EXPECTED SOMETHING MORE. PERHAPS WE DID NOT ARRIVE QUICKLY ENOUGH? MAYBE THE INTRUDERS HAVE ESCAPED?**

He considered the Tombguard a moment. **IF THE INTRUDER IS NOT HERE THEN WHY HAVE YOU GATHERED HERE AND HAVE NOT BEGUN SEARCHING?** He asked coldly.

 **PRAETOR WHILE WE HAVE NOT FOUND A BEING POWERFUL ENOUGH TO CREATE SUCH AN ENTRANCE WE HAVE FOUND A—WELL PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK?** The Tombguard suggested.

He sighed, in as much as an artificial construct such as a Tombguard _could_ sigh. **VERY WELL SHOW ME.**

The Tombguard led the way forward and the milling bands of guardsmen shifted aside to allow Inekhat access to the crater. He stared at what was within it incredulously. **YOU SEE PRAETOR? ALL WE FOUND WERE THESE…MORTALS. NO SIGN OF THE INTRUDERS—**

Inekhat lacked a brain, at least in the classical grey matter sense of the word. He also lacked a circulatory system of any variety which is why it was a confusing notion that he had a blistering headache the moment he saw whom it was that was splattered all over the crater.

 **NO, I THINK YOU FOUND THEM JUST FINE. PERFORM A SEARCH BUT I DO NOT THINK YOU WILL FIND ANYTHING FURTHER.** Inekhat admitted. **AND GET SOMEONE DOWN HERE TO SHOVEL THEM UP AND PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER. I'LL CALL IN UPSTAIRS TELL THEM TO NOT BOTHER SENDING AN ANGEL JUST YET.**

The Tombguard looked confused. **PRAETOR?**

He felt the need to explain, if only to expedite his return to his sarcophagus, the beings smushed to bits and spread out over the surface of the crater would take at least until morning had properly dawned to reconstitute. He could get a few more hours regeneration in before he had to go to sort this mess out again. **IT'S JUST MR POTTER AGAIN. TRY NOT TO GET HIM MIXED UP WITH…WHATEVER THE OTHER THING IS WHEN YOU PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER WOULD YOU?**

If it was possible for a Tombguard to look horrified whilst possessing an entirely immobile face this one did so. Harry James Potter was a legend, or a horror story among the ranks of the Tombguard and the others inhabiting the Necropolis. No one EVER had caused as much chaos and confusion on a Tombworld as that boy had. It was rumoured many Tombguards had flung themselves into the void after having been forced to handle another one of his many Death related incidents. This Tombguard now found himself in the unenviable position of having to handle him personally or risk the Praetor's wrath.

He just hoped he survived his ordeal as he ordered a few mops and a bucket or two, before pausing thoughtfully and asking for a sieve as well. He consoled himself as the Praetor marched away that at least if he made it through the clean up he wouldn't be the one handling the menace when he regained consciousness.

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 **Author's Note:** There, hope you enjoyed that for what it was.


End file.
